52 Ways to Annoy Mr Monday
by Miss Pookamonga
Summary: Now it's time to torture the laziest man in the House. Read and review!


_Dear Readers,_

_Here's the next installment! **Spoilers **for those who haven't read_ Sir Thursday_ in the first two annoyances mentioned...just skip those._

_Best regards from a Bookworm,_

_Miss Pookamonga ;-P_

**52 Ways to Annoy, Harass, or Otherwise Bother Mr. Monday**

Ask him why he's not dead when he's supposed to be.

Ask him why he couldn't defend himself (after he dies).

Poke him repeatedly with a stick.

Constantly proclaim that Arthur is more powerful than he is.

Steal the Greater Monday's Key from him. If he asks where it is, stare at him and say in a hoarse voice, "The precious…" Then hop away.

Use the Greater Key as a knife to cut your steak.

Tell him that his Dayroom is too hot and smells sweaty.

Replace the bubbling mud in his Dayroom with ice-cold water.

Refuse to give him a blanket when he complains that it's too cold.

Tell him that Sneezer died.

Scream at him and force him to do his work or else you'll keep on screaming.

Keep screaming while he tries to do his work.

Tie him to a chair and force him to watch "Here Comes Peter Cottontail".

Then sing the "Here Comes Peter Cottontail" song over and over again until he starts crying.

Take the Key from him while he's sleeping. When he wakes up, wave it over his head and chant, "You have to get up, lazybones!"

When he finally gets up to grab it, run away laughing.

Tell him that Arthur lost the Lesser Key.

Tell him that the former Monday's Noon (now Dusk) quit his job and has decided to marry Lady Friday.

Send him a fake invitation to their wedding.

Film him screaming and ripping his hair out over this.

Submit this video on youtube.

Force him to watch it and read the reviews it gets.

Whenever he walks into a room, bang on a gong very loudly and yell, "HERE ENTERS MR. MONDAY!"

Buy him a bumper sticker that says, "Somewhere, a village is missing its idiot."

Sneak up behind him and bang a pan on his head at random times.

When he gets mad, blame Sneezer.

Sing "Yankee Doodle" in a loud and squeaky voice.

If he goes to take a nap, insist that you read him a bedtime story.

Keep insisting until he gives in.

Read him _Eragon_ and force him to stay awake until you have finished all 400-plus pages of the book.

Then read _Eldest_ to him and squeeze his wrist so that he cannot fall asleep until you are finished.

Leave him after finishing the book, but come running back screaming, "Wait! I have to read you another book!"

Read him the 900-something-page book _My Life _by Bill Clinton while whacking him on the head with a stapler to keep him awake.

Steal his sleeping cap.

Hide it until the next day, then wear it around on your head, reciting "Wee Willy Winkie".

While he is sleeping, wake him up by playing a loud recording of "Circle of Life" in his ear.

When he wakes up, yell "Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" in his face.

Insist that you give him a makeover.

If he refuses, tie him to a chair and make him listen to "Hooked on Phonics" tapes.

When he finally gives in to getting a makeover, Cut his hair off and draw a mustache on him with a black Sharpie.

Take a picture of him and give it Monday's Noon (formerly Dusk).

Tell him that Grim Tuesday is better than he is.

Repeatedly ask him why he and the other Morrow Days sabotaged Drowned Wednesday.

If he demands you to stop asking him that, ask him why.

If he says, "Because," respond by asking "Because why?" and so on until he screams.

Point at him and start laughing for no reason.

If he asks you why you're laughing at him, stop for a few seconds, then resume your laughter.

Give him a stupid nickname, like "Mon".

Paint his room neon pink and write "Mr. Monday is stupid" all over the walls in black ink.

Hop around like a frog. If he asks you to stop, just say "Ribbit," and hop away.

String a small rope across the floor. Take a picture of him tripping over it.

Send this picture to everyone he knows along with a detailed article about how stupid he was to trip over it.


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